Life Is a One Way Street

This week renowned author and leadership expert, John Maxwell asks us the question, "What are you doing with this gift of life"?

When you are 80 years old, sitting in your porch rocking chair and reflecting on life, questions such as Did I live a useful life? will cross your mind. There’s no doubt this question will be important to you at 80, so it really should be important to you now.

Unfortunately, a lot of people make a habit of postponing life. They think that somehow, some way, somewhere at some time, life will get better. This rather poignant saying helps illustrate my point:

First I was dying to finish high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college and start working. And then I was dying to marry and have children. Then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could return to work. Then I was dying to retire. And now I am dying and suddenly realize I forgot to live.

Isabel Moore said, “Life is a one-way street. No matter how many detours you take, none of them leads back. And once you know and accept that, life becomes much simpler.”

I’ve understood for some time that the only day I have is today. Even so, having a heart attack a few years ago crystallized that concept in my mind. Life is a one-way street. This isn’t a dress rehearsal—it’s a live performance.

We need to take special care to live a useful life, starting now.

So what does it mean to live a useful life? For me, the usefulness of my life is determined by:
•    The relationships I form
•    The decisions I make
•    The experiences I encounter

The Relationships I Form

Relationships help us define who we are and what we can become. More than almost anything else, relationships determine the kind of a life you lead. In fact, most people can trace their failures or successes back to pivotal relationships.

Our relationships with others fall into one of four categories:

1. Addition—Some relationships add to who we are.
2. Subtraction—Some relationships take a little bit out of us.
3. Multiplication—Some relationships can multiply our strengths, results and contacts.
4. Division—Some relationships can divide us.

Think about the people in your life. Where do they fit into these categories? I’m sure it wouldn’t take long to put names beside each category, right? Many of the sorrows we experience spring out of relationships with the wrong people. But it is also true that some of the greatest joys we experience in life develop as the result of our relationships with the right people. With that in mind, work to increase the time and energy you invest in the relationships that improve your life.

And, perhaps above all, work on becoming a person who improves others’ lives.

The Decisions I Make

Our decisions also determine the usefulness of our lives. One of my favorite quotes on making decisions comes from the great John Wooden, who said, “Make each day your masterpiece.”

There are two ingredients necessary to make every day a masterpiece: decisions and discipline. Decision-making takes care of goal setting, but discipline also takes care of goal-getting. Decisions and discipline can’t be separated; one is worthless without the other.

Since I’m talking about living a useful life, let me share what I consider to be a few of my own life-changing decisions.

• I am committed to continual personal growth. I believe growth is happiness, it is essential. Out of my growth I live, and out of my growth, I give.

• I will give and serve on the front end. Many of the blessings I enjoy today are the result of the decision my wife, Margaret, and I made to try to live a life of giving with no strings attached.

• I will exhibit a great attitude, regardless of the situation.

Virginia Satir said, “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.” It’s not the circumstances life deals us that determine our success or failure. It’s our response to it.

The Experiences I Encounter

Finally, the experiences we encounter on a daily basis impact our ability to live a useful life. Joseph Campbell put it best, “People say that what we’re all seeking is meaning for life…. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive.”

Our experiences determine how fulfilling our life is, and there are four realms to every experience:

1. Entertainment—Absorbing experience through the senses
2. Educational—Participation of a person’s mind or body, sometimes both
3. Escapist—Completely involves the person, like going to a theme park
4. Esthetic—Immersion in an environment but not affecting it

Jim Gilmore was spot-on when he said, “The richest and most compelling human experiences draw from all four realms.” If you are a leader or a communicator, ask yourself: When I am communicating with or leading people, do I involve all four experiences?

Final Thoughts
If you’re not doing something with your life, it doesn’t matter how long it is. If you’re doing something with your life, it doesn’t matter how long it is. Life does not consist of years lived, but of its usefulness.
If you are giving, loving, serving, helping, encouraging and adding value to others, you have a useful life!

Have a great week unless you choose otherwise.

Drago

10 Affirmations To Stay Positive When Life Is Not Going According To Plan - Jessica Cooper

Life is amazing, but sometimes it’s hard to acknowledge because of all the sticky situations and straight-up terrible nonsense that happens in our lives.

Let me guess: Right when you FINALLY think something is going great, something bad happens again. When does it end, right? Why you? Why can’t you just be NORMAL like “everybody else”? How come it seems like some people have no problems at all, and you’re stuck under a constant avalanche?

The truth? I am not going to tell you things will get better over night. I am not going to tell you that terrible circumstances you obviously don’t deserve are not going to come your way. Bad things will happen; I can practically guarantee it. Trust me, I know firsthand.

What I will tell you, however, is that there are ways to live above these unforeseen circumstances. You can make it through the unexpected situations; you can come out stronger than ever and better equipped for the storms that will inevitably come your way in the future.

Here are 10 ways to live above the most unfortunate circumstances:

1. Trust

Trust things are going to work out. Have you ever looked at a tree that is absolutely beautiful in the spring, but looks pretty ugly during the winter? That’s because the tree is not in season.

You have to remember that, just because you’re not seeing fruit during the winter of your life, spring will come eventually. Trust that it will all come together in the end, even if you can’t see it now. Your life isn’t dead; it just might be dormant for the time being.

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2. Change your plans

If you have been trying to make the same thing work out, and time and time and time again, it fails, perhaps you need to try something new. I’m not saying give up on your long-term dreams; however, sometimes things don’t work out because they’re not supposed to.

Quit trying to fix the air conditioner with some bubble gum and sticky tack. Change your strategy. Stop trying to force the situation with the wrong tactics. There is a reason it isn’t working out.

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3. Meditate

I know seems hyper-spiritual, but no matter what you believe, you can still take time mold your habit of personal reflection. Maybe to you this means meditating, or even praying. Perhaps it’s simply taking time to relax with your thoughts.

Get in touch with your spiritual self. Talk to the ocean when you surf.  Talk to the mountain when you ski. An inner peace tends to come with spirituality and meditation.

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4. Be patient

What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting because sometimes who we become and what we learn in the process of waiting is what truly shows us the way.

Think about it: We are all waiting for something — a new job, a significant other, a phone call, another chance. Perhaps, if you’re still waiting on whatever it is, maybe you’re just not ready yet.

Waiting is not punishment; it’s preparation.

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5. Be positive, even when you’re not positive

At work, a part of my job is to greet people and ask them how they are. When they ask me how I am in return, of course I am going to respond positively, even when I am having a bad day. And you know what? I make myself believe it.

It’s funny because this same idea works in reverse. If you keep telling yourself, or telling others, that you’re just feeling mediocre, or you’re having a particularly bad day, well, that’s exactly the kind of day you are going to have. There is true power in thoughts and words!

What you proclaim, you are. Whether you succeed or fail is determined in your mind way before a situation even plays out in real time — consider that for a moment. Change your thoughts, and your life will follow.

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6. Stop focusing on your stressors instead of your blessings

Many times during your day, things go exactly the way you want them to. Yet, when something doesn’t go according to plan, you get upset.

It’s so easy to get preoccupied with the problems in our lives. In reality, however, the things that go right significantly outnumber the things that go wrong. It’s so hard to see it that way sometimes because our problems become this unbearable weight that we feel like we aren’t equipped to carry.

I get it: It’s easier said than done to look at the positives over the negatives. It truly does take time. However, you are already equipped. You might just need some strength training!

Practice makes perfect. Your circumstances cannot control you as long as you choose constant inner happiness, regardless of what’s happening on the outside.

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7. Live in the now

No matter how much you think about it, dream about it, or sweat over it, the past is over, honey. When you face the facts, it can no longer hurt you.

Think of the events that happened in your life as if they happened FOR you, not TO you. You have outgrown your past. You are so much bigger and stronger now. It’s time to let it go.

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8. Just go with it

Maybe the reason the situation you had perfectly planned out went left instead of right is that the universe had other plans.

Maybe it rains on that day you were planning on having a sunny picnic in the park. So what? Have the picnic anyway, and dance in the rain. Maybe it’s not how you planned it out, but that’s the best part about it.

Just go with the flow and your memories will truly be unforgettable. Consider the rain a blessing. Some problems are just out of our control, and there’s not much else we can do except adapt and figure out how to move on!

Obviously, I realize that your problems are on a much larger scale than a picnic. However, if you start to see the small circumstances this way, you can most certainly begin to see the larger issues this way. Perhaps once you do change your mindset, you will realize that, in reality, you don’t actually have many stressors.

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9. Have faith

There will definitely be moments when you won’t know what’s coming next, like those terrifying blind spots in your car, or rainy nights when you can’t see the road.

However, if you keep moving ahead (even if it’s at 5 mph), things will begin to clear up. Keep the faith, and know you will reach where you want to be. The destination remains, and a little rain or crummy vision cannot change that!

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10. Turn your mess into your message

I know it’s hard to see it this way right now, but the pain you are going through is temporary. When you get out of this tunnel (or even while you are in it), your story will inspire other people who are going through hard times themselves.

Let your life be your anecdote. If you need solid proof of that, well, you’re reading it. This article is MY testimony.

Maybe I don’t understand why you have to go through the things you do. Perhaps I have not walked in your shoes. But what I do know is that IT WILL PASS.

You can’t just hope it blows over, however. You have to put in the conscious effort and strength to press on and fight for what you deserve. Will it be hard at times? Yes. Will you get frustrated? Absolutely.

Every little part of the journey is beautiful, no matter how precious or even how unfortunate. You can live above and beyond any circumstance because you are strong; you have willpower, and you are dang well worth it!

Get out there and show your life who is really in charge.

Jessica Cooper

Time

“The chief beauty about time
is that you cannot waste it in advance.
The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you,
as perfect, as unspoiled,
as if you had never wasted or misapplied
a single moment in all your life.
You can turn over a new leaf every hour
if you choose.”

― Arnold Bennett

A Warm Welcome to 2016!

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley