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14 Days of Self Love

Growth Inside Fuels Growth Outside

A group of tourists walked through a quaint English village in wonderment. They were enamored by the town's winding cobblestone streets, the beauty of its courtyards and plazas, and the sense of history emanating from its ancient churches. While strolling through the local park, the tourists struck up conversation with an elderly gentleman and found out that he had lived in the town for his entire life. One of the tourists, eager to hear more about the town's history, asked, "Sir, have any great men been born in this village?" "Nope," said the old man, "only babies."

Personal Growth Is a Process

In our twenties, we think ahead to when we'll be ideally situated in our career, positioned to do exactly what we enjoy, and enjoying immense influence in our occupation. Like children on the way to Disneyland, we impatiently await arrival at our destination instead of appreciating the journey there. However, as we age we encounter an uncomfortable truth: growth doesn't happen automatically. We cannot coast through life hoping one day to stumble across our dreams. Unless we set aside time to grow into the person we desire to be, we'll not reach our potential.

Leaders develop daily, not in a day. They commit themselves to the process of growth, and over time they reap the rewards of daily investments in their development. In this lesson, I'd like to share five principles to encourage you to adopt a lifestyle of personal growth.

#1 Growth is the great separator of those who succeed and those who do not.

When I went to college, there was no gap between my peers and me-none at all. We started on the same level. However, at the age of 17, I made a commitment to spend an hour a day on my personal growth. I studied and read, filing the lessons I learned along the way. Now, in most cases, the gap between my former classmates and me is pretty wide. Am I smarter than they are? Absolutely not. Many of them got better grades than I did in college. It's the growth factor-my commitment to the process of personal growth-that has made the difference.

#2 Growth takes time, and only time can teach us some things.

When it comes to personal growth, you cannot substitute for time. Yet, the mere passage of time doesn't make you wise. Experience is not the best teacher; evaluated experience is the best teacher. To gain insights from your experience, you have to engage in reflective thinking. I have a habit of taking ten minutes every evening to look back on the day. As I reflect on what happened, lessons emerge, and I capture them in my notebook so that I can learn from them.

#3 Growth inside fuels growth outside.

The highest reward of our toil is not what we get for it, but who we become by it. At the age of 17, I decided that I would read, file, and begin to prepare lessons. From that simple discipline I accumulated a wealth of content that fueled my speaking and writing. I never set out to be a leadership specialist; I was simply diligent about reading, filing, and studying. With respect to personal growth, take the long view on results. The most important question to ask is not "What am I getting?" from the discipline of personal growth, the most important question is, "Who am I becoming?"

#4 Take responsibility for your own growth.

For 15 to 20 years, the school system holds us responsible for growth. Educational curriculum clearly spells out, "here's what you do next," and "here's the next step." Then we graduate with diplomas and certificates, and we no one longer have anyone to map out the next step for us. If we want to continuing growing, we have to do it ourselves. We have to put together a game plan so that we become students of life who are always expanding our minds and drawing upon our experiences.

#5 Determine the areas of your life in which you need to grow.

You've probably heard someone say, "You can do anything as long as you put your mind to it." Sadly, as nice as that sounds, it simply isn't true. In watching people grow, I have discovered that, on a scale of 1-10, people can only improve about two notches. For instance, I love to sing; that's the good news. The bad news is that I can't carry a tune. Now, let's be generous and say that, as a singer, I'm a "two." If I put lots of money, effort, and energy into developing my voice, perhaps I can grow into a "four." News flash: on a ten-point scale, four is still below average. With regards to my career, it would be foolish for me to focus my personal growth on my voice. At best, I'd only become an average singer, and no one pays for average.

Don't work on your weaknesses. Devote yourself to fine-tuning your strengths. I work exceptionally hard on personal growth in four areas of my life. Why only four? Because I'm only good at four things. I lead, communicate, create, and network. That's it. Outside of those areas, I'm not very valuable. However, within those areas of strength I have incredible potential to make a difference.

Where can you make a difference?

Have a great week unless you choose otherwise.

Drago

I Can Do This

This week we share a great message from author and speaker, Jon Gordon. Jon's message is a great reminder that mountains are meant to be climbed. They will make us stronger, better, smarter, they should be looked at as something to conquer, not fear or put off!

I rode my mountain bike the other day with my three year old son in the child's seat. As we rode along the edge of the TPC golf course we noticed a boy running up and down these three little hills on the edge of the golf course. I knew what was coming next. My son said "Daddy, I want to run up the hill." So, I stopped the bike, helped him get out of the seat and said, "Go ahead and climb that hill."

He stood at the bottom looking at the hill. To him I could tell it seemed like a mountain. He started up the hill but then stopped. His momentum could not carry him up the hill. It was pretty steep and he looked nervous and scared. I wasn't sure if he would be able to climb it and neither was he. Then I said, "step back and then run up it," so he did fearlessly.

When he reached the top his face beamed with pride. He just stood there looking at the view from the top; his view and perspective changed by a few seconds and a climb up a little mountain.

From the look on his face, which I will never forget, I could tell his confidence was at an all-time high. He proceeded to run up and down the three little hills like a human rollercoaster. When he reached the bottom of the third hill we walked back to the bike and went on our way.

I realized at that moment why we all need to climb a mountain every now and then. When we climb mountains, face challenges, hurdle obstacles and learn from difficult situations we are reminded that we have the strength and power to overcome life's challenges.

At first even a little mountain may seem like a big insurmountable mountain. But when you step back and climb it you realize, "I can do this."

The mountain, no matter how big it is, is no match for your faith and desire to climb it. Mountains are meant to be climbed. Wounds are meant to be healed and problems are meant to become learning experiences. They all serve a purpose. They make us stronger mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

While we often can't control what happens to us we can control how we see and climb the mountains in our life. We can look at mountains as being in the way or as "the way" to growth.

We have a choice. We can stand at the bottom and say, "it's too hard, it's too high and I can't do it" or we can dig down deep and find the very best in ourselves and fearlessly run up it.

Be blessed this week.     

Drago

Notes To Myself - Ruben Chavez

Notes to Myself

Ruben Chavez

 

Below is an ongoing list of advice I’ve compiled for myself in a note in my phone. I started writing it as a way to remember the things that have worked well for me in the past because I was tired of forgetting them, then having to rediscover them months or years later. The cycle would go something like this:

• I’d find something that worked well for me -- a habit, a mindset, a food, anything.
• I’d integrate it into my life for a while.
• I’d eventually forget about it weeks or months later and would have to solve the same problem from scratch multiple times.
• I’d eventually rediscover this thing that had helped me in the past and integrate it into my life once again.

This list covers various areas of my life and is somewhat random. It’s mostly unedited, except for clarity and (most) grammatical errors.

In my phone, at the top of the list, I’ve written:

LOOK AT THIS LIST OFTEN, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE FEELING "OFF."

Full disclosure -- I don’t look at this list often enough. Hopefully sharing it here with you will help me follow my own advice more regularly. (Don't let the numbered list fool you, it is in no particular order).
 

"THINGS I NEED TO REMEMBER"

1. “You don’t have to create a masterpiece every single day. Some days you just need to paint.” (something Vanessa told me when I was beating myself up for not creating something amazing every day).

2. It’s important that you stick to talking about what’s important to you and what you find interesting, not what you think other people will find interesting. When you talk about what you find interesting, that’s where you’ll have the most insight and unique perspectives. The people who have contributed most to the world have identified where their true interests lie and centered all of their work around it.

3. Speak with confidence. You are just as smart as the people you admire and even smarter in some areas. Be confident of the validity and strength of your own ideas, perspectives, and arguments.

4. I feel best when I:
- Wake up early.
- Do physical activity during the day to tire myself out.
- Work on things I'm excited about.
- Eat a high protein, moderate carb diet.
- Go to sleep early.
- Sleep 7-8 hours.

5. Foods that my body loves (in pretty much any quantity):
Sweet potatoes, eggs, turkey, mangoes, berries, all coconut products, walnuts, hemp seeds, oats, green powders.

6. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be lighthearted. Nothing is that big of a deal. Nobody cares that much. Your existence is less than a speck in time. Have fun while you’re here.

7. Release expectations of the outcome and just enjoy the process.

8. The more you behave independently from the opinions of others, the more attractive you become.

9. Momentum in life comes from increased fluidity, a willingness to always try more, to continually move in a less constricted fashion, even (and especially) as you experience success.

10. Trust yourself. Trust your intuition. Trust your wisdom. Trust your knowledge. You already have the answers you’re looking for. You already know what to do, what to say and how to act in every situation. Every life experience you’ve ever had is recorded in your subconscious mind and you have access to all of it -- every movie you’ve watched, every book you’ve read, every class you’ve taken, everything you’ve learned. The subconscious mind never forgets. Life is easier when you follow the guidance of your subconscious rather than trying to logic your way through every little thing.

11. Always be prepared. Plan for the worst, expect the best. Never be caught off-guard.

12. Always look for ways to give and serve others. Expect nothing in return. “If you’re not making someone else's life better, you're wasting your time.” -- Will Smith

13. Act like someone is always watching you (because they probably are). Who you are when no one is watching you is how you will be perceived when they are.

14. Stop thinking there is something else you need to be doing. Just be present and enjoy what you are doing now.

15. Simply being aware of the fact that life is a mental game puts you way ahead and tilts things in your favor.

16. When listening to a podcast (or any material I want to internalize) listen as though the speaker is talking directly to me -- as if I was the one who asked the question they are answering. Also, listen as though you have to teach it to someone else later.

17. Don’t create content for the masses. Create for one or two specific people, as if you were writing a message to a friend.

18. Have confidence in yourself. Most people are too self-conscious/wrapped up in their own lives to tell you you’re doing a good job (even though they may think very highly of you).

19. You don’t have to feel alone when trying to figure out the world. For any subject you want to learn, or question you have, there are others who have come before you that have wanted to learn the same thing. There are other people like you, you just have to find them. (IWantToLearn subreddit, Quora, etc.)

20. You might only need one or two really good ideas to improve 80%+ of your life (Pareto’s law). Figure out what those are. It’s not so much about knowing every single personal development strategy, but about finding the ones that have the most "bang for your buck" when applied to your life.

21. Act like the person you want to be.

22. Tips for avoiding information overwhelm and learning more effectively:

• Don't think you need to remember everything. Trust that the information you need will be there when you need it, as long as you were present when you initially received the information.
• Organize information hierarchically in order to discern what’s important (Principles, strategies, tactics).
• Focus on information you will use now, not at some point in the unforeseeable future.

23. Don’t over-learn. Cramming your brain with too much stuff too often can clog it up and make you feel mentally foggy. Take a break from reading/studying every so often to give your brain a chance to absorb what you’ve learned. Research shows that if you yourself time to “forget” information just enough to be able to recall it later, it will have a better chance of sticking with you because you strengthen that neural connection.

24. "I cannot remember the books I’ve read any more than the meals I have eaten. Even so, they have made me.” -- Emerson

Translation: It’s okay if you don’t remember every detail of every book. Over time, the ideas seep into your subconscious and influence you in ways you’re not even fully aware of. “The person you will be in five years depends largely on the books you read, the people you spend time with, etc”

25. “Education is not the learning of facts but the training of the mind to think.” -- Einstein

Translation: Don’t concern yourself so much with learning facts or memorizing other people’s ideas. Rather, concern yourself with learning how the people you admire arrived at their conclusions so you can arrive at your own. Focus on first principles.

26. “Leap and the net will appear.” -- Zen proverb

27. Creativity is just connecting things.

28. "You create value by finding the connection between two or more things that no one else has seen before and making a third unique thing for the world."-- The War of Art

29. You need restrictions. You are more creative and do better work when you have restrictions as opposed to when you feel you can do anything. This goes for structuring your day, too. Discipline equals freedom.

30. Philosophy over tactic.

31. Sometimes people just need something to relate to, not a tidy personal development strategy. (Think: music).

32. What makes me qualified to teach others? An expert is someone who knows more than the person they are teaching. We are all “experts” to someone else. (The better I get, the higher level of student I will attract).

33. Reading helps you figure yourself out.

http://thinkgrowprosper.com

What's Your Story?

This week we share a powerful message from one of our favorite authors and Leadership Experts, John Maxwell. John's message is a great reminder that we are the authors of our story.

Let me ask you, what's your life story?

When I meet people for the first time, as soon as the introductions are out of the way, I ask them to share their stories — to tell me who they are and where they’re from, where they’ve been and where they’re going. I want to understand what matters to them. And I have a very specific reason why I’m asking you about your own story right now.

I wish I could sit with you and hear what you think about your story so far. What kind of story is it? We all have a bit of humor in our stories, as well as some drama. We all have our ups and downs, wins and losses.

There’s a bit of comedy, tragedy, and history in all of us. But overall, each of our lives tells a larger story. What do you want yours to say? I believe that no matter what “plot” each of our stories may follow, deep down we all want one thing: We want our lives to matter.

We want our stories to be of significance. Nobody wants to feel like the world wouldn’t miss him if he’d never lived. Are you with me?

A Story Can Show Us That We Matter

Have you ever seen the classic movie It’s a Wonderful Life? It’s the story of George Bailey, a man who dreams of traveling the world and building things, but who instead stays home in Bedford Falls, because he repeatedly chooses to do what he believes to be right for others. A point occurs in the movie where George experiences a moment of crisis, and he comes to believe that everyone around him would be better off if he had never been born.

What he’s really saying is that his life doesn’t matter.

The great twist in the story occurs when, with the help of an angel, George gets a chance to see what his town and others’ lives would look like if he had never existed. Without him, it’s a dark and negative place. George comes to recognize the positive impact he had made because, time after time, he took action to do what he knew was right and helped other people.

As Clarence the angel tells him, “Each man’s life touches so many other lives.” George had touched many lives in small ways and made a difference.

Have you looked at your life from that angle?

Have you thought about what you want your life story to be?

Do you believe you can live a life of significance, that you can do things that really matter? Can you make your story great? 

With all my heart, I believe the answer to these questions is yes. You have it within your power to make your life a great story, one of significance. Every person can.

Regardless of nationality, opportunity, ethnicity, or capacity, each of us can live lives of significance. We can do things that matter and that can make the world a better place. I hope you believe that.

Be blessed this week.            

Drago

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